Letting go.

I haven’t talked much about becoming Borg this past summer. This is my new pancreas. It works a whole bunch better than my old one. It was 6 years of doctors just saying I was fat and type 2 and just needed to eat better and exercise. All it took was one doctor, one who listened, who ordered one blood test that changed my life.

It may beep and fuss and alarm at me. I may have to watch my tubing and always be attached. But, I’ll take that over feeling like crap all the time – not just because of the out of control blood sugars, but because of the doctor’s guilt trips and the ones I self imposed. If I worked out more or ate less or cut out a whole food group, I could get better. I felt like a failure for years.

Not all doctors know everything. Question them. Question them again. If something doesn’t seem right, get a second opinion. Get a third. The first doctor may have been right, but if you’re not getting better, you have to advocate for yourself.

So, I’m learning to let go of years of guilt and working on changing my thinking that I was a failure.

And that my friends, is your PSA for the day.

Happy Saturday y’all!

Advertisements

Saturday Sky

Long ago, Sandy wanted to see our skies, so here you go!

Today’s brought to you by a friend’s birthday celebration a block away from Fort Worth’s tree lighting ceremony. We came down early to avoid the mess that traffic is sure to be.

Luckily, we got here early enough to get parking less than a block away from the restaurant and a few blocks off the actual “square”.

Happy Holidays y’all!

Freezing Farmgirl

A little over nine years ago, I came to Texas (the state) to visit Texas (the man) between his contracts. While here, I bought some yarn and started some mitts. It took me almost a year to finish them (because young love or something). From my notes, I apparently finished them while I was hospitalized for the first time for my NMO.

I’ve loved those mitts, and they show it. Felted in spots, holes in others. They’ve hauled wood, driven tractors, fed cows and chickens and ducks. They’ve been to CA and PA and Jersey. They’ve made long drives to Dallas and Nacogdoches. Tiny towns, metroplexes, camping, fishing, working, playing. They’ve done it all. They’ve been with me for my whole adventure here.

The time has come to replace them. I tried to make everyone knit some with me for CMMDI, but it didn’t work out. So here is the start of another pair that hopefully will last the next 9 years. I’m going with the same pattern because nostalgia and I like the simplicity. I do wish I had some appropriate red yarn, but I’ve had this Beaverslide for a while.

The yarn is far thicker than what I has before, and I will finish these, but I think I’ll be making another pair with lighter weight yarn. Hopefully I can whip out the second mitt before the next arctic front hits.

Happy Tuesday y’all!

90 (ish) days


While Texas’ birthday isn’t until the 29th, because of work, we took some time last weekend to do little trips and enjoy ourselves. As much as I tried, he wouldn’t wear a birthday tiara for me. But, whatever.

He did buy me some fiber. Because apparently I spin.

After he charmed the ladies here:

I will be going back to Homestead Heritage Craft Village for some rigid heddle weaving classes. I got invited to sit and knit or spin with them on Saturdays, but 88 miles – one way – for a knitting circle may be a little much. (I still haven’t made it to the one down the road at La Madeline because, well, honestly, I am me and hate people, and do I really want to mix my yarn with faux ooofy food?) Also, the lady in the wheelchair showed me how to spin on my book charka. I wish I would have gotten it out that evening and tried it.

Our plans had to be scaled back a little because someone split his hamstring and couldn’t do a lot of walking. I also had to do all of the driving. In his truck. With no lumbar support.

It did force me to be all do-it-yourself chick and I finally fixed my passenger seatbelt. Which involved pulling out the back seat a little and basically ripping out the interior rear quarter panel.

seatbelt

So, yeah. Life, love, laughter, and squish.

Happy Zombie Day y’all! However you celebrate (or don’t).

p.s. If you want to help us ride in the MS 150, we each need to raise $300.

Michael’s MS 150 page

My MS 150 page

10 Years and all I got was this blog.

Who knew I’d be doing this 10 years later. I decided to take a look back at the past ten Octobers.

9 years ago, I had just gotten my job at Edwards and was moving to the desert.

8 years ago, I made the floppy.

7 years ago, there was some type of crazy weave along and 2 pairs of socks from Socktoberfest.

6 years ago this month, I made the decision to move to Texas. My head also went all splody around that time*.

5 years ago, I pretty much spent the whole month blogging about my trip to WI that took place the previous month, trying to avoid the reality of the official NMO diagnosis

4 years ago, I was traveling back and forth to Pennsylvania trying to help family.**

3 years ago, I took fundraising for NMO to the knitters.

2 years ago, there was another round of fundraising, a completed pair of socks and DUCKS!

1 year ago, yet again, more fundraising and no knitting at all.

I think I better get on making this October a little more interesting than the past three. They seem kind of boring compared to those first few.

I’m not doing a fundraiser this year because the things in my head decided to act up last month. If you still feel like donating, here are some options.

Happy Wednesday y’all!

*Hmmm. Anyone else wonder if there is a connection? Really there isn’t since we can now trace the NMO back to 2003, but it doesn’t hurt to josh with Texas about that.

**Yeah. Well, that was a waste of a month. Just saying.

TNP on a Thursday: Pushed over the edge edition.

An NMO group I belong to recently regressed into a high school drama tit-for-tat fest.  I don’t have the time or energy for that kind of stuff and left the group.

The original post was political and divisive and the author couldn’t see the difference between opening a topic for discussion/sharing information and calling a group of people idiots.  (yes, it actually involved the word idiot) She then proceded to complain that the mods weren’t admonishing someone for posting information about a petition for controversial medical therapy that she didn’t agree with. After all, she got a message about her post not being appropriate.

I appear to have developed an intolerance for people who demand that you agree with them. I don’t care if I do agree with what they are saying or not. The moment you demean a person or group or their views just because they aren’t just.like.yours, you have crossed a line.

What has happened to the ability to talk about things without it devolving into name calling, drama or condescending attitudes?  To have a conversation and an exchange of ideas that are thought provoking? To understand why someone might feel different than you? To agree to disagree? *

My views are not yours. I have had different life experiences that have brought me to where I am. My views have changed over the years as I have grown, lived and matured.  They may change again. They are my opinions. You have yours. I respect your right to have them. I just don’t respect you as a person when you imply a group or someone (or their opinion) is stupid or “less than” because they don’t agree with you.

Needless to say, I have been withdrawing from groups and relationships because, as I said above, I do not have the time or energy to deal with it.  I do not have the graciousness or patience to overlook it right now. Maybe, in the future, I’ll change my mind.

Happy Thursday y’all. Who has my caffeine?

*I am very lucky to have a friend that I talk to regularly that has vastly different views on some hot topics and yet, we can have conversations about them. I can express why (or what) I feel about things. She can express her views. We can “yeah, but” back and forth and then turn around and talk about cute weekender bags. She gets it. And I wish more people did.

While the cat’s away…

She did a bunch of crochet. Shut up, my brain is melting.

I hung out at the lake yesterday and forced my momma to go over the basics with me again.

image

Hers is on top. We were using the same yarn, same pattern, and I had a larger needle.

I may have had tension issues.

image

By this morning, I thought I was doing better, but I kept on making pasties. Do you think I can find a market for that?

Someone suggested I try the magic loop crochet thing and I ended up with finger cots.

image

Yeah. Well.

What are all y’all doin’ today?